Mid-Year Check In

Hello friends,

Blogging has been a bit slow over the last few weeks as I've been enjoying the remainder of my time as a Fresher. So this post will be a fill-in of what has happened recently, but is mostly a check-in point for the year. A progress log, if you will, of how my year has been going.

So Friday was the day I said goodbye to the Swansea Student Village, where I've been living for my first year of uni. The process of leaving was a surreal feeling, watching everything gradually being packed up over the last week or so. I may have been back and forth from home a lot throughout the year, but I still became immensely attached to the village. It was like a tacky little holiday camp, but has left me with some incredible memories. What was nice about the last few weeks was that my housemates and I seemed to come together and become closer than ever before. Admittedly, I've had my ups and downs with the people I've lived with, and I've felt let out on numerous occasions, just because I feel like I'm very different to some of them, but none of that seemed to matter over the last few weeks. Obviously, the idea of being separated for three months dawned on us (and in my case, a lot longer, as I won't be living with them next year) and we've all kind of clung onto each other. We've made the absolute most of the Swansea night life and spent way more nights in watching films and TV shows together as our little family. It's been really nice, and I'm really going to miss my little crumbums next year (inside joke - anybody seen We're The Millers?).

Ready for the summer ball. I'm going to miss these freaks!

So now I'm back home for the summer, desperately seeking a job or something to do with my time that'll cost me no money, especially now I have reason to save. I bought a weekend ticket for Reading festival this August. At first, only a small group of us were going but now more and more of my friends seem to be buying tickets. It's going to be quite the weekend, and I'm extremely excited for the whole affair! I also have a fortnight in France with the family to look forward too, which should be nice. There's also my birthday at the end of this month, where I get to see some lovely people I haven't seen in a long while (cough +Rachel Bott) and have some self-indulgent fun. I have faith in this summer. I think I'm going to have a lot of fun!

Now onto the evaluative side of this blog. At the beginning of the year, I set myself a few goals for the year. They weren't strict resolutions, just a few things I thought would improve my 2014. So how am I doing so far?

Blogging: So far so good, right? In January, I set myself a target of at least one blog post a month. As it turns out, I have a lot more to talk about than I expected to, and I've posted twelve posts since that target. A few of my posts on what I would consider to be more important topics have done pretty well too, which I'm happy about. Apparently, I can speak a lot more sense than I thought sometimes! I'm just enjoying documenting and writing about some of the things in my life and I definitely want to keep this up.

Living: In January, I didn't think I was using my time wisely enough. This probably came from the fact that deep down, I was disappointed with my first term at university. It wasn't anything like I expected it to be, and I felt like I wasn't doing enough to enjoy it. But I do think I've done a lot more in the second half of the academic year. I've gone out a lot more, I've expanded my friendship group and I've generally made more of an effort to be open to new possibilities. As a result, I do thing I'm living a lot more. Obviously, I still spend a massive chunk of my time in front of my beloved laptop... but baby steps, guys. Baby steps!

Image: The goal was to either change myself until I could find an image I was happy with, or to ease myself into being comfortable in my own skin. I expected fulfilling this goal to be a lot harder than it was. This year, I'm beginning to realise that, holy shit, I'm not ugly. Am I overweight? Yes. Does that define me? Not really. Obviously I have my down days where I look in the mirror and see precisely nothing that I like, but those days are becoming less frequent. I've found a balance between dressing and finding an image that I'm comfortable with, and not giving a damn what other people think of me. If I feel good, why should I care about what other people think? The other night, I got called a 'fat bitch' by an absolute idiot in a drunken state. Had that happened some time last year, it would have sent me into a spiral of self hate. But you know what? I really do not care. 

Positivity: I have a friend who says I'm the most pessimistic person he has ever met. The more he says that, the more I play up to it, because our friendship thrives from that kind of banter. But whilst I have a strong ability to be a pessimistic hypochondriac-diva, I'm actually more positive now than I've been for a while. And I think my response to the previous three goals has proven that. So yes - so far, so good!

There's one more thing that can't go without a mention. After my Gran died in April after suffering with dementia, I promised myself I'd become more involved with related charity communities. So this weekend, I signed up to a Memory Walk in aid of the Alzheimer's Society, with all of my family. It's such a wonderful charity who do a lot to help people who suffer from dementia and their families. The walk is sponsored, so if you're in a position to donate, here is a link to my JustGiving page, where you can also find some details about the work the charity does and the event itself. 

So that concludes my June check-in. Here's to another six months of positivity!

Until next time, muchachos!

xoxo

May Catch Up!

Hello friends!

I haven't written anything for a few weeks now, so I thought we'd play catch up. May has been quite a busy month for me so far and I can't quite believe that it's just over a week from being over already! But now that I'm done with university work for the year and I have some more free time, here are a few stand outs of the month.

May didn't get off to a great start for me. As I may have mentioned once or twice, my immune system isn't great, and right from week 1 of May, I had managed to land myself a kidney infection. It started off with me either being boiling to the touch whilst shivering uncontrollably, or a human ice cube whilst sweating like a pig. Then came the agonising pain that felt like somebody kicking me very very hard in my sides constantly for the best part of a week, resulting in a stable diet of cocodamol and antibiotics and virtually nothing else (you know I'm really ill when I lose my appetite - this was serious business here!).

But, to brighten up my week of illness, I carted myself off to Cardiff to see McBusted at the Motorpoint Arena, with my two best friends, my aunty and two other chaps. I might have been in pain, but I have to say - the show was AWESOME. I felt like I was 8 years old again, finally getting the chance to see Busted live after being deprived of such a treat the first time round! I had more than enough fun to forget about the state of my health, and it's always lovely to see the McFly boys perform. We were stood right at the back of the arena as we arrived quite late (cocktails took priority - sorry boys!) but it made no difference, as far as I'm concerned. I still enjoyed every song they played and managed to get one or two great photos with the added bonus of extra room to dance!

Doug's wonderful rendition of My Heart Will Go On - hilarious.

The next thing was to move back to Swansea for the last term of my first year in uni. I didn't have a great deal to do but seeing as I was paying full rent, I figured I would make the most of the Student Village. I had one essay to write which, for a change, I feel fairly confident about. Then I had some time to just chill out with friends. The weather has been pretty amazing recently (she says confidently whilst a thunderstorm cracks into action outside) so everybody has been outside in the sun having barbecues and playing ball games, like a good old fashioned 'summer'. It's been pretty awesome! But unfortunately, it couldn't last forever. I still had one exam to go so inevitably, I had to do some revision.  I may have gone slightly overboard with the visual learning, but what can I say? It works for me. 

My wall of knowledge. Actually covers the length of my bed.

Another treat May brought me was a trip to London to see We Will Rock You. The show closes in the West End at the end of this month, so I absolutely had to see it before it left. Not only am I still in love with the show from when my school performed it back in 2011 (I could still quote most of the script and sing every note of every song, and had to try very hard to keep my mouth shut during the performance!), but my absolute favourite West End star, Oliver Tompsett was playing the lead role of Galileo Figaro. I fell in love with him as Fiyero in Wicked, and my adoration has only multiplied by seeing him in this role. He is so talented, it physically hurts me. I recommend anyone who likes musical theatre to just find something he's in and go see it. I'm not sure what his next show is, but when I do I'll be sure to share. You should also check out this song to give yourself an idea of the ridiculous smoothness of his voice. So obviously, I very much enjoyed the show. I'm sure it's touring again some time in the near future, so be sure to see it if it plays near you! 

I also had a whiz around the London Eye whilst I was in the city, which I had never done before. It was a cool experience - I found it a little surreal seeing so much flat, built-up land coming from a tiny valley with a mountain in every direction you look. 

So after these treats, I returned to Costa del Swan for some last minute revision and to sit that dreaded Politics exam (which was held in an Indian restaurant - quite bizarre). It could have gone better, but then again, it could have gone worse. All I know is I'm glad to have it over with and I can safely declare my first year of university over!

So that's been my May so far. It's definitely been better than April, I'll tell you that for nothing. Next month should be fun with the end of year shenanigans, the summer ball and of course, my birthday! 

Until next time, muchachos!

xoxo

A Wicked Evening!

Hello friends!

Yesterday was a pretty awesome day for me, mostly because I got to see my favourite musical ever Wicked for the third time! I knew it was the closing night last night, so literally the first thing I thought of when I woke up in the morning was Wicked. Then to add insult to injury, I saw about ten pictures of the opening scenery from various other Wicked lovers on Facebook, and I was absolutely gutted I hadn't had chance to see it while it was at the Millennium Centre in Cardiff. But then, a change in the weather was to come! I got a phone call from my lovely chummy +Ffion Thomas, asking me if I wanted to go with her and her family, as her brother's girlfriend couldn't go any more (for very good reason, too!). She didn't need to ask twice - I WAS GOING!

The opening scenery - I'm always mesmerised by that map!

 

I had been to London twice before to see Wicked, both times with the same cast. There's always apprehension about touring productions and different casts, especially when what you had seen the first time was absolute perfection. But I have to say, this production did not even slightly disappoint. Obviously it was a little different, and I have my favourites from both casts, but it was truly incredible. I don't know if it's because I'm a few years older than last time I saw it, or maybe because I've been in more productions myself since then, but I noticed so many more details this time around, like the absolutely obscene standard of dancing throughout, or how tight and powerful the harmonies of the chorus were. In particular, the Dancing Through Life and One Short Day sequences showed off the amazing chorus, and still remain as my favourite scenes.Not to mention our lovely Fiyero and Elphaba nailing one of my favourite duets ever, As Long As You're Mine. I'm just in awe. Everything was amazing. I recommend absolutely anyone to buy tickets to see Wicked, either on the remainder of its tour, or on the West End. It is powerful, moving, funny and witty (seriously, some of the Wizard of Oz references are brilliant!). There's a reason this is my favourite show. Okay, I think I'm done gushing now. 

And of course, there was an excellent reason I got my hands on that ticket! Ffion's brother's girlfriend, Sophie, had gone into labour earlier in the day. Then in the opening bars of One Short Day, we got a phone call from the hospital and a little wave of commotion made its way across our row as we learned that Ffion's second nephew, Daniel Ray Jones had made his way into the world safely. Congratulations, Aunty Ffi! 

So I said this post was going to be happy, and I think this pretty much stepped up to the cause! An all round excellent evening to write about.

Until next time, amigos!

xoxo

Why Dementia Sucks.

Hello friends, I'm afraid another serious post is upon us. Hopefully the posts following this will be far lighter reading, but this is an important topic, and is something that's shaken me to the core for the last few weeks.

On Wednesday 9th April, my family sadly lost my grandmother to Alzheimer's disease. She had been in hospital for a few weeks and her health had been deteriorating severely and quickly. By the end of it, we were just glad to see the end of her suffering, regardless of how difficult it was for the rest of us. I wasn't exceptionally close to my gran in the later years of her life, but she was always there, and before her dementia got the better of her, always brightened the room and brought a smile. I was shaken by her death more than I ever expected to be (not that I really knew what to expect, having never lost a close family member until now).

But this post isn't necessarily about my loss or my mourning. It's about the disease that brought it about. Over the past few months, I've done quite a bit of research into Alzheimer's and other causes of dementia. Dementia is a difficult term to explain articulately, but it's basically progressive damage to nerves in the brain, causing loss of memory, confusion and other symptoms which are all hard to watch someone experience. Here is a basic summary of the disease and its symptoms, or this video explains it all equally as well.

 But what I've come to realise is that regardless of how destructive it is and how big a scale it affects people on, there still seems to be a stigma of some sort around the disease. Whilst research and support organisations exist, they are nowhere near as well-known as organisations for the likes of cancer and other diseases. I just find this hard to believe and frankly, ridiculous, when dementia accountable for so many deaths. In less than ten years, over 1 million people in the UK alone will have some kind of dementia. And yet nobody in the media, in politics or anywhere else that would raise awareness seems to talk about it.

Fortunately, I have found an organisation that sparks some hope to the cause. What I want to do more than anything is to help break the stigma surrounding dementia and Alzheimer's, and to see a more public approach to tackling the disease as a whole. The comedy genius and all-round legend, Seth Rogen has taken a strong step towards making this happen. He and his wife have set up an organisation called Hilarity For Charity, in aid of Alzheimer's. He has also made a great effort to expose the disease to the American public and government. Here is a video of his speech to Congress on the matter. I urge you to watch it, because he truly hits the nail on the head.

So that's pretty much it. All I want to do is spread awareness in the hope that Alzheimer's and other causes of dementia become better recognised so that more people can be successfully diagnosed, sufferers and carers can have the level of support they deserve and to make the campaign against dementia as big as campaigns for other illnesses. Please do give these videos a watch, and if you're affected by any of this personally, I urge you to get involved in some way, whether that's by sharing your experience, joining in a charity event or even creating your own, which is something I hope and aim to do in the near future. 

Until next time, amigos

xoxox

(ps. I promise my next post will be something a little more smiley. Here's to hoping the rough times have come to an end for now!)

Panic Attacks

Hello friends!

Two blog posts in two days - now this is a record. But today's post is a little more serious and a little more personal than the last. Yesterday, I read Zoella's blog post about panic attacks. I have no idea how I hadn't read it before now, considering it's been on the internet for around three years, but there you go. So having heard her story, I thought I would explain mine too.

My experience with panic attacks hasn't necessarily been the longest of struggles, in fact they began fairly recently. As I may have mentioned, 2012 was by far the worst year of my life so far. As far as I'm concerned, it's one big black hole I choose to forget about wherever possible. But around September time of 2012 was when I had my first panic attack.

I had been out with friends in the evening and when I got home, I discovered that my mother was staying over her boyfriends for the night, so I was home alone. That had never been a problem for me, in fact I usually enjoy being alone for a while. However, I was in a pretty dark place at the time, and while it was easy to be okay around friends as I was always distracted, things tended to turn ugly when I didn't have something to think about. I don't actually remember much about the night so I can't say for certain what triggered, but I would assume the feeling of anxiety came along with the feeling of loneliness and depression. I found myself getting upset and locked myself in the bathroom to calm down, except it didn't quite go to plan. I broke down completely and began to feel really short of breath. My chest was tightening, I felt dizzy, and I was hysterically crying, which I'm sure did not help. I don't know how long I was like that for - it felt like forever, but was probably around fifteen minutes. It was one of the scariest thing I've ever experienced.

After the first attack, I didn't have another for what seemed like ages. I thought it may have been a one off, but when it happened again, I recognised it immediately. I was in a night club, in the busiest room. I had been drinking, so my senses were already heightened, and I found myself being pushed back towards the speakers. Again, I felt dizzy and my chest was tightening. But this time, a huge group of my friends were there watching me, asking me what was wrong. I felt like I was being suffocated and I just wanted to get out. The feeling is honestly inexplicable - like everything you feel, hear and see blur into one huge, overwhelming mess.

After that occasion, the panic attacks have since become more of a regular thing. I don't suffer terribly, I can still live my life normally, but I'm always wary that something will go wrong and I'll start panicking. One of my biggest fears at the moment is panicking in a lecture at uni, or somewhere out in public during the day. Most of my attacks have been in night clubs, crowded spaces or at least at night time. It's embarrassing being in university and going out with new people, only to end the night prematurely with panicking and crying that I honestly can't control, especially when the new people I'm out with think I'm just being stupid and drunk-crying.

When I panic, I've learned that there are a few things I need to happen in order for me to calm down. I don't know if these apply to anybody else, but just in case you're ever out with me and it happens (who knows?!), here are my please dos and please don'ts.

1. Please just get me outside as quickly as you can.
2. Please don't ask me what's wrong. The likelihood is, I'll struggle to reply with "I can't breathe."
3. Please try to find some water for me. I promise I'd ask for it myself if I could.
4. Please don't try to make me do stupid exercises to calm me down. Like Zoella pointed out, saying the alphabet, counting your fingers or anything of the sort only frustrate me more, and that unfortunately doesn't help.
5. Please find a wall for me to sit upright against. I'm not really sure why this helps me, but it does.
6. Please don't try to hug me or rub my back, or anything like that. It just makes me feel like I'm being suffocated. Crowding around me feels terrifying too, since that was what probably caused me to panic in the first place. What might help, however, is a cheeky squeeze of the hand. Sorry in advance if I squish it. 

So that's all I can think of, really. I thought I would make this post because I've heard a few comments about panic attacks lately that haven't particularly thrilled me. They're really not cool, so please try to be understanding, and all I can do is apologise for ruining your night or stressing you out. I hope this helps at least somebody!

Until next time, darlings!

xoxo

Ideal Roadtrip Playlist TAG!

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/12033349/?claim=828g5h6224d">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Hello, friends!

A few weeks ago, the lovely +Rachel Bott tagged me in a post, and I'm only just getting around to responding because of a few crazy weeks of uni work. So this will be an IRP post, which stands for Ideal Roadtrip Playlist. It's not going to be quite as long as Rachel's extensive post, but I thought I'd make a list of some oldie-but-goodies, and some songs that are really getting me in the mood for summer!

1. Rather Be - Clean Bandit ft. Jess Glynne 

2. Best Song Ever - One Direction

3. Best Day Of My Life - American Authors

4. Paradise City - Guns N' Roses

5. (I Can't) Forget About You - R5

6. Starships - Nicki Minaj

7. Chasing The Sun - The Wanted

8. American Idiot - Green Day

9. Dress and Tie - Charlene Kaye ft. Darren Criss

10. Red Lights - Tiesto

11. September - Earth Wind and Fire

12. Bubbles - Biffy Clyro

13. We Built This City - Starship

14. She Moves in Her Own Way - The Kooks

15. Brave Heart - Neon Jungle

16. In Too Deep - Sum 41

17. I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor - Arctic Monkeys

18. Somebody Told Me - The Killers

19. In This City - Iglu and Hartly

20. Town Called Malice - The Jam

21. Love Drunk - Boys Like Girls

22. Lies - McFly

23. Kiss N' Tell - Ke$ha 

24. Counting Stars - OneRepublic

25. I Predict a Riot - Kaiser Chiefs

26. I'll Be There For You - The Rembrandts 

27. Pompeii - Bastille 

28. No Tomorrow - Orson

29. How Ya Doin'? - Little Mix

30. Jump - Van Halen 

So there you have it! Thirty songs that would significantly improve any journey I was to travel. Some are better known than others, but they all just make me want to go drive somewhere (if I could drive, that is). Do feel free to make your own post involving Rachel's invented tag. 

Until next time, chums!

xo

Why Eating Is Important: Concert Edition

Hello friends!

So I have a tale to tell, and hopefully, a lesson will come from it. But in honesty, it's mostly about some more wild misfortune on my behalf.

Yesterday, I went to the O2 in London to see R5. I was extremely excited, seeing as I had such a good time the last time I saw them. I was up bright and early at 5:30am without even having trouble getting out of bed - I was SO ready. So after a four hour journey to London, we reach the point where they day begins to go swiftly down hill. As we were on the tube to North Greenwich, I began to feel really sick. Not just the horrible feeling in your stomach, but the next stage, where every part of your body is silently screaming "oh god, I'm actually about to throw up." A truly horrible start.

So as we arrive at the O2, my gut instinct was proven correct and (TMI alert) I pretty much threw my guts up. Gone were the minimal nutrients of my McDonalds snack wrap breakfast. And I'm certain that I'm not alone when I say that the last thing you want to do after being sick is eat, so popping somewhere for lunch was well and truly off the cards for me. I just joined the queue and felt sorry for myself for a solid four hours. On top of the sicky feeling, I was also shivering uncontrollably. No matter how much I tried to warm myself up, or how many jackets I had draped over my body, I just couldn't stop. I was hoping that moving into the venue itself would warm me up, but that wasn't to be either. And this is where things take yet another turn for the worse.

Let's weigh things up here. I had been up and about since 5:30am after just over four hours sleep. I was running on empty because of my little stomach mis-hap. I was shivering as if Elsa had just struck my damn heart with the coldest of ice blasts. Things really were not looking good, and it really didn't come as a surprise when I started to feel faint. I was struggling to stay on my feet, and after classily blacking out in the bathroom, a member of staff took it upon themselves to escort me to the medics room, which meant I missed the support acts, which is a shame. After being poked and prodded, they declared my blood pressure and sugar to be low and summoned me to buy some food. And reluctant as I was to eat, I honestly felt so much better once I had. I still wasn't right, but I was better, and felt well enough to be able to actually enjoy the concert.

So with my new found energy, I sang, clapped and cheered my way through R5's set, which was absolutely fantastic, may I say. We were treated with a surprise appearance from The Vamps, too, which was awesome. I may have had an awful build-up, but they certainly didn't disappoint. Here you go, have a picture.

So what's the lesson here? Well, what I learned from the whole day was that it's really important to look after yourself on the day of an event like this. And here is how I recommend you do so:

1. Stay hydrated. Drinking plenty of water is a good thing, but also try to drink something with some sugar in it, like full-fat Coke or fruit juice. My blood sugar is what let me down!
2. Sleep when you can. I didn't sleep on the bus to London and I really should have. I also should have gotten more than 4 hours the night before. A school-girl error on my behalf!
3. Eat! Even if you're feeling sick, or you're not particularly hungry, you need to eat something. Because it's going to get hot in there, and who wants to be that lame person who faints and has to be dragged over the barrier lacking consciousness in front of people they idolise?
4. Bring emergency drugs. I was genuinely ill yesterday, aside from my stupidity. I would have killed someone for two paracetamol every four hours just to stop the cold sweats and headaches.

So that was my day yesterday! Not the best concert experience I've ever had, but we live and learn. I hope that none of you ever have the misfortune of going through something like that (because meeting some of your favourite people and being so out of it that you can barely remember the encounter truly sucks) and that all your concerts are filled with fun and good health!

Until next time, amigos!

xoxo